Three Magical Words

We are already in Q3 of 2021! Half a year passed by and all I can remember is I am still at HOME. Staying at HOME (SAH). Working from HOME (WFH). Teaching and Learning at HOME (PdPR). What a challenging year we are all in now since COVID-19 hit the world in 2020. A lot of sufferings, disappointments, pains (not to mention deaths) due to this pandemic and everyone is trying their level best to adapt with the new norms which is not that easy. Recently, we were in shock with the continuously increasing number of positive cases despite the third lockdown imposed. The sudden spike in suicidal rate is terrifying as well. Everyone is surviving to live a life, a decent life. 

How’s my life at HOME?

I am one of those who is affected mentally, emotionally, physically and all the -lly -lly you can relate to this pandemic. The PdPR takes the biggest portion of my time daily. So, how is this PdPR challenging from my point of view? 

• The kids’ tasks will be assigned in Google Classroom or through my WhatsApp or Telegram channels. I need to stay alert on the messages coming in at all time, yes! So that I won’t miss out the tasks given to the kids. Can't they just sync every communication in one channel only?
• There will be Zoom or Google Meet classes daily and each sessions will take about an hour or more. Sitting next to them (especially Ikmal) during the classes really put me in a distress mode as I couldn't do any other work. Note that I am WFH too. The attention span for the kids (especially during PdPR) is very low. They are pretentious creatures behind the screen.
• Ilyas is a bit independent since he is already 9, while Ikmal who is just 7 (with less interest in formal learning); online classes is such a challenge to him especially when the subjects require deeper understanding on the concept. With only videos as tutorials for instance, I have to explain (teach?) again to make sure he can absorb the information before he can really do his work. 
• Later I have to snap the photos of the completed tasks, print out the worksheets or send the kids' videos and turn in the tasks according to the timeline given. There's a name list to be updated on who has completed the tasks as well in the WhatsApp or Telegram - I don't like this, haha! I feel guilty every time I got the kids' names at the bottom 5. Is it really necessary though? As long as they submitted within the timeline given is fine, right?
• Waiting for the kids to finish the online sessions is one thing. Adding an extra time to explain again the concept after the online sessions ended is another thing. Ensuring them to complete the tasks given after the online sessions is also a thing. 

After looking at how haywire my life was for the past months with the PdPR and WFH (SAH can be stressful too), I have decided to give myself a decent escapism just to keep me sane. I found an easy and achievable escapism that works for me. It’s planting! Not a tree (yet) but I am planting these three magical words in my mind. I started to use these three magical words more often when I was burnt out struggling to cope with too many ‘hats’ at HOME and when I found myself lost in between the ‘roles’. These are one of the magical words which I found impactful other than Sorry, Please and Thanks. 

• I couldn't get the kids to attend the online sessions when the time clashes with my work schedule; "It is okay, we will catch up later, boys". "It is okay" if the PdPR didn't go smoothly last week, let's rock it next week.
• The kids are mentally exhausted when there are too many tasks a day; "It is okay, go and play first". "It is okay" if I let the kids playing outside, they need to say Hi to the outside world.
• I have a very limited time to cook while monitoring the PdPR; "It is okay, let's GRAB some food for lunch". "It is okay" if I skip cooking for a day or two, I can spend some for the economy then.
• The pending house chores as an ordinary SAH mother; "It is okay, I will sort them out by end of the day". "It is okay" to take your time and binge on the Netflix for a while, Ili Liyana.

I feel guilty at first as "It is okay" seems like procrastinating or finding excuses to avoid getting the job done. As a person who is very concerned on planning, I feel defeated by going against my stance. A lot of thoughts running in my mind whether I am doing things the right way and I realise that in this moment of uncertainty; one's mental health is important. Regardless of whatever situation I am dealing with now, I have to be mentally strong. SAH, WFH, PdPR - these are all HOME-based situational changes which I need to quickly adapt to in order to keep me sane. What is the point of breaking down just because I fail to control myself over things I can't control? Why should I spend my time on a single thing that will drain my energy for the whole day? How can I be more productive if perfection is all I want in everything I do? These thoughts are crucial to be taken seriously as it will affect my mental health later. Hence, I am practicing this simple self-control method by planting these three magical words.

It. Is. Okay.

We are now living in an era of pandemic. No one is aware of it coming. But here it is. The reality of surviving relies on our mental health, so please keep ourselves sane by training our minds to stay calm in every situation. Don't put more pressure on things we can't control. Fill our days with happiness. Appreciate every single moment before it becomes a memory. Be thankful that we are still alive amidst this pandemic. 

Last but not least, "It is okay". These hard days will come to an end soon. Hang in there, everyone!

The end. Thank you! :)