I was not born to be a speaker but I love to speak, haha! I enjoy talking to people and asking zillions of questions especially when the environment encourages or demands me to do so. That is why I could easily have a lengthy conversation even with a stranger. "Do not talk to strangers". I could not recall my parents telling me this when I was young. Perhaps the time back then, it was not harmful to talk to people who you do not know. When I was 10, while waiting for our delayed flight in Turkey, I killed the time wandering around in the airport and had several conversations with the retailers there. I got free drinks and snacks after my casual talking with them. I was not sure what I was babbling about, definitely I was not there for freebies, no no, haha! I just enjoyed talking to the so-called strangers even without mastering my second language yet the confidence I had was excessive.
That was the 10-year-old me. No expectation. No judgement. I could talk with confidence without having to worry of what others will think of me. But things have changed when I actually learned about human psychology. How a person thinks and reacts are driven by numerous factors i.e. knowledge, experience, culture and so on. What person A thinks is right might be wrong from person B's view and vice versa. Often, I put all aspects of other people’s thinking into my thought. Their expectation. Their judgement. I am too concerned on others and least bothered about my own thinking. At an instance, my confidence level will be deteriorating especially when the subject I am fighting for or talking about is prone to arguments due to different perspectives. At the end, I raise the white flag. Because I considered others' views before mine. So, where did my confidence go? Am I not a confident person anymore? What makes me "giving up" my own thoughts? It is because of the vitamin "C". The confidence is still in me but I am just lacking of another vitamin “C”.
I had dwelt with moments of depression few years back because I was lacking of this vitamin "C". Those times were disastrous because I did not have this "C" in me. I have tried at one point of time to bring the "C" out of me but I failed to do so. I thought it was easier; easier said than done, yes (at least to me). People say being confident is rewarding but with this "C", it will add more value than a reward can give.
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- Self-value : No one will value you as much as you value yourself. Do not wait for other people to encourage, praise, persuade or criticise you. You know yourself better than anyone else in this world. So, appreciate yourself every single day. If you feel you have not done much for today, tell yourself to take a break for a while and be ready for a better tomorrow. Appreciate what you have done instead. You are valuable, remember!
- Worry-less : Do not go overboard with things you can not control. Do not put much worries on every problems as they come with solutions. If you can not solve the biggest, try with the smallest first. If you can not find ways to the hardest, go for the easiest ones. Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles. It takes away today's peace. So, do not to make yourself stress over everything in life. Your life is too short to be thinking about everything seriously.
- Counter-fear : Know what is your biggest fear and get over it! The toughest indeed. How do I overcome my fear? Point 1 and Point 2 applied :)
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