Friday, 12 September 2014

My Only Crying Shoulder

When I first had a glance of him, I could not deny that my heart was pounding differently. This is weird, I said to myself. But lucky me that my sister was there as well so it covered up my awkwardness meeting him for the very first time. Everything seemed wrong here and there; the sambal Nasi Lemak was a bit bitter, the shawl did not fit me well, my voice was in high pitch every time he picked on me in front of my sister even though the issue was nothing personal. I kept on holding my hands due to the nervousness I felt. Phewww! I thought it was a normal meet up but it turned out being the moment which I think I am in love! =)

Before I met him, we used to chat via emails for job purpose ONLY. It was when my parents were involved in an accident and my mother was hospitalized, I did not have any access to the Internet and that was when I have given him my contact number in case there was any urgent matters pertaining to the work. He was the first person who called me when I was in the hospital. At that moment, all of my siblings were in the hospital crying and comforting each other while waiting for my mother in the ER. Even though we only had a short conversation on the phone but I would not forget the moment as he was the first so called "outsider" who comfort me when I was emotionally down. He was there as my virtual crying shoulder.

"I wanna marry you"

That was the first thing he said to me after our 5 months of friendship. I was shocked and at the same time provoked him, "Don't say that to me, go and meet my parents then". He did it! He went all alone to meet my parents to convey his intention of marrying me. Oh my! He was the first guy ever who dare to say that to my parents without me at home (as I was working in KL and my parents are staying in JB). I was touched with the sincerity that he showed and I could not say more other than Alhamdulillah...finally I found the one who can be my official crying shoulder.

He is the person who I can share all of my thoughts freely, I can express my feelings of anger, happiness, sadness, dissatisfaction without having to think of how he will think of me. I can be ME when I am with him! I guess I am the most complicated person that he has ever met yet he is still there as a loyal crying shoulder at the end of the day. I have no idea where he got the patience to bear with his psychotic wife. Even so, he never failed to say "I Love You" and "I Miss You" everyday which at times I feel like, "Why he keeps on saying the same thing over and over again? Does he really mean it? ". But when I think back, what he says all this while is actually his Doa. He prays to Allah that the feeling of loving and missing me would not fade away. So, who am I not to love and miss him back endlessly? 

Dear Darling Hubby Mohd Hafiz,
Living my life with you for almost three years is so meaningful and I am praying that Allah will bless our journey as husband and wife not only for these three years but till Jannah. Thank you so much for being so caring, loving and understanding towards me all this while regardless how terrible I am some times (or all the time). Please forgive me for all the wrongdoings that I have made intentionally or unintentionally. Thank you for accepting me as who I am without any doubt. Just to let you know that...
I hope I can be in front of you as your protector...
I hope I can be behind you as your supporter...
I hope I can be beside you as your companion...
I hope I can be with you forever as your only one...
Last but not least, thank you so much for being my only crying shoulder, sayang!
                                          Love You Muchos, Bibie, 12/09/2014, 5.20pm

The end. Thank you! =)

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