Sunday, 28 January 2018

My Unexpected January

It is raining now! I thought of having cendol with Ilyas but I have to cancel our plan due to the unexpected weather. It is unexpected as it was sunny just now and I got my laundry dried up in less than an hour (this is exaggerating because I used the dryer instead, haha); I mean only Ilyas’s school uniform not all. I have just read a few lines in the book I borrowed from my friend and I felt sleepy already. I think it is the weather which makes me feel this way or maybe because I eat a lot or maybe because the house is so quiet or maybe I just don’t know what to do. What an unexpected Sunday. But I don’t want to sleep now. I want to use as much of my time in the day so I will be getting tired and I can sleep at 9 tonight. That is my expectation and I don’t want any unexpected incidents before 9pm, I wish I wish..

I have started 2018 with so many unexpected things. To name a few; I thought Ikmal will be enjoying kindergarten but it turned out the other way round. He went to kindergarten for 7 days only. He was down with fever, cough and flu so I thought of separating him from school for a while. He was okay now but still he refused to go to kindergarten. Whenever I asked him to get ready in the morning, he would cry and insisted to sleep at my parents in law’s house. So over the weekdays last week; Ikmal spent his nights with his grandparents, not going to kindergarten. The most unexpected thing was; he will avoid any physical contact with me every time I wanted to approach him. I couldn’t even hug or kiss him as he thought that I will take him home and tomorrow morning he will be forced to go to kindergarten. Thus the best way to avoid kindergarten is not going back home with Mama and sleep at Atok’s house. Unexpected Scene #1 from a Toddler.

Mom and dad were supposed to fly to Penang on Thursday last week to attend to our relative’s engagement. Tickets were purchased and everything was prepared. On Wednesday morning, dad told me that he had to postpone the flight as he had to meet someone urgently on Friday morning so he couldn’t be flying back and forth. Unfortunately we couldn’t change his ticket so we had to purchase another ticket for my brother since mom couldn’t walk on her own so someone has to accompany her. My baby brother is the best companion at the moment. I thought the unexpected scene was over. Then on Friday morning after the meeting, dad asked me to purchase a flight ticket to Penang for him on Saturday. It might seem normal to others but to a person who doesn’t really like a short-notice kind of thing; this is not cool. Unexpected Scene #2 from a Father.

I thought the work pressure is going to be lesser once the KPI is reviewed but I was wrong, totally wrong! I had a really hard time and I was in a deep trauma for almost three weeks only because of my KPI. I reluctantly agreed with the rating given due to few reasons which I had clearly justified but things went haywire afterwards. It was the most unexpected scene I have ever encountered throughout my working years. But the good thing about this unexpected scene; I came across another unexpected offer for my career development. I will be going to embark to a new journey in my career really soon. Unexpected Scene #3 from Bosses.

Last but not least, as I am writing this entry, I received an unexpected cendol from someone (delivered to my house). Thank you for the cendol, yummmmeeehhh! Unexpected Scene #4 from a Good Friend.

In a nut shell, expectation is like a master mind where it controls how we think, act and feel. It controls both our conscious and sub-conscious mind and of course driven my external factors such as weather, environment and pressure as well. I believe that every single aspects of life have its own expectation and most of the time, I always believe in the smooth deliveries of each expectation. For instance, I expect Ikmal will love school; I expect dad will be flying with mom on Thursday; I expect my boss will accept my justifications; and I expect there will be no cendol today due to the fact that I couldn’t go out since it is still raining. But expectation doesn’t really have to be as per my expectation. It doesn’t work the way I expect it to be all the time. Realities always win over expectations. Therefore, I have to add another link in my mind storage which can control how I think, act and feel for any expected and unexpected scenes in my life.

Since I have been facing quite a number of unexpected scenes this month, I hope I will be more prepared for February and many months ahead. Expect the unexpected!

The end. Thank you! =)

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