A 'Rare' Moment Like This

*wink wink*

Darling Hubby gave me this wiring cover printed with our names last few weeks. This cover is normally printed with codes for technical wiring but when the 'sweetness' feeling struck into my Darling Hubby's, it turned out like this! Thanks a bunch for this 'rare' thoughtful wiring cover, sayang! =)

When we are apart, I can feel that our relationship becomes much more stronger than before. I am truly blessed as Allah has shown me the right way to love and to be loved by someone that I love. The distance does not put us in a suffering situation in fact it brings us into a situation which involves a higher sense of appreciation and tenderness.

We are stronger than we know!

I do value all of the moments of the three of us since it is quite 'rare' for us to have the feeling of togetherness (due to the distance factor). But what I love most is when I see both of my precious being together as this moment of closeness is 'rarely' captured and it shall be treasured for the rest of my life.

Bonding time for Papa & Son

I know from the day Darling Hubby came back home, I should not be wasting our times thinking of unnecessary problems or arguing on little issues as I know that his return is worthy and I will try not to spoil it. It is 'rare' for me to think like this as previously I would always create an argument over silly things with him. Since I 'rarely' see him, the maturity is building up within me and to my surprise, I am now becoming a person with a tolerable level of patience. This might be a common thing to most of the people out there but this is a 'rare' thing to me and what I can say is Alhamdulillah...

As a mother and a wife, there is nothing more meaningful other than seeing your loved ones the first moment you open your eyes and always hoping that they are the ones that you will be seeing before you keep your eyes closed. I will not be questioning on how different my life is as compared to others because I know there's no single individual in this world shares the same journey as mine. BUT... When Darling Hubby gave me this padlock (or should I say a gift instead?), yes I know this padlock is not 'rare'. But to be given a padlock from Darling Hubby all of a sudden is just 'rare' and it creates a huge difference in my life which others might not have!   

A 'rare' padlock of mine

At this stage of life, I am lucky enough to have my unpredictable Darling Hubby and my cheeky Baby MIH in my life. I don't wish for more than I should have. Syukur dengan apa yang ada =)

The end. Thank you! =)

Protective Me

Selepas balik lunch terus tengok facebook sebab tadi ada ternampak satu link dekat page "Kelab Soal Jawab Ibu & Bakal Ibu Jom Hamil" tentang satu blog ni *click here*. Saat baca entry tu, memang hati rasa sebak sangat terus teringat kat Ilyas:

• Dia memang pernah demam (on and off) + batuk (bunyi berkahak) + selesema (tapi dia tak pandai hembus hingus lagi).
• Pernah tidur sampai nafas berbunyi kuat (tapi masa ni tak batuk or flu).
• Kadang2 dia suka buat bunyi macam susah nak bernafas or bunyi tarik nafas yang semput2 tu (dulu ingat sebab perut dia buncit banyak makan so dia cepat mengah bila merangkak or naik tangga).

Need to keep those symptoms in mind just for future reference (if any emergency occurs)

Tapi semalam memang first time Ilyas tetiba je dia menangis (tapi tak keluar air mata) sambil meneran. Oh, dia sakit perut! Mesti sebab dia x poo for 2 days. Kali ni memang lain macam dia merengek. Dia nak dipeluk sentiasa pastu memang asyik merengek. Ya Allah, memang menangis kita dibuatnya. Sayu sangat dengar suara dia pastu memang dah agak ni mesti sakit sangat sebab t*** tu keras. Dia tak nak menyusu, tak nak baring. I just hugged him, doa banyak2 biar Allah permudahkan Ilyas buang air and I kept on whispering "Allah Allah Allah" to him sampai dia senyap dan tertidur...

Ilyas menangis + meneran sampai tertidur (sambil duduk sebab dia tak nak baring langsung)

Hati mana tak tersentuh tengok anak sakit sampai tertidur keletihan =(

Bila baca simptom2 Penyakit Pneumokokal, memang terus terfikir terbayang terimbas jika ianya sama seperti yang pernah Ilyas lalui sebelum ni. Memang dalam hati rasa cuak panik. Tapi terus tenangkan diri jangan cepat melatah, mungkin Ilyas demam biasa je (tapi dalam hati memang tak tenang langsung). Tambah pula dengan kes Ilyas sembelit semalam, memang lagi rasa risau sangat2! Mungkin ianya tiada kaitan dengan Penyakit Pneumokokal ni tapi tahap kerisauan tu makin menebal bila memikirkan virus2 jahat ni mudah dijangkiti so I need to be more protective towards him. I am very particular when it comes to my baby's life but no matter how detailed I am, there must be things that I have missed out. So this story really put me on an alarming stage as a Mama.

Sekarang hati ni memang rasa menyesal sangat sebab pernah marah2 Ilyas. Perasaan bersalah lagi la menggunung tinggi sebab pernah pukul Ilyas kt peha dia sebab dia gigit kita masa tengah breastfeeding. Banyak lagi perasaan sedih sebak semua ada lagi2 bila baca blog Cerita Erina tentang anaknya yang telah kembali ke Rahmatullah kerana Penyakit Pneumokokal ni. Puan Erina dapat menyusukan anaknya selama 1 tahun 2 bulan (masa nampak je angka ni terus berderau sebab Ilyas is now I tahun 1 bulan and I am still breastfeeding him). Memang Ilyas sekarang Alhamdulillah masih aktif, tak demam + flu or cough. Cuma angka tu mendebarkan. Hmmm... 

Semoga Allah sentiasa melindungi dan merahmati hidupmu, sayang!

Mama sayang Ilyas sampai bila2 =)

The end. Thank you! =)

Missing You Dearly

Just an emotional entry to say that...

I miss both of you so much! 

Can't wait for you to be home, Darling Hubby!

The end. Thank you! =)

Mama In Action

MIH at 13 months old

Looking at my baby growing up healthily and happily is a priceless feeling a mother can feel. No words can describe how grateful I am to be called a "Mama" in spite of many challenges that I have to encounter while raising my boy. When I was pregnant and unemployed, I was worried. My Darling Hubby is working yet I still got the feeling that I have to work as well coz "I want my baby to have everything that a world can give". I was a bit conscious when it comes to my baby's needs as I do not want my baby to grow up inadequately. 

Is this kind of thought healthy for me? 

I was highly influenced by those sayings that having a baby requires a stable financial situation as we need to buy diapers, milk, clothes, play mat, baby cot, stroller etc. When the thought came in, I wondered; Was it my fault for having a baby while my financial was not encouraging? Can I be a good mother to my baby if I failed to provide him with everything a baby should have from the beginning? 

Just imagine how would I feel being an unemployed mother and Darling Hubby is working all alone to support us? My Darling Hubby never forced or even asked me to work. But as a wife, I was touched looking at him struggling for a single cent to earn a living for the three of us. Therefore, I promised myself that after confinement period, I will find a job no matter what as I want to ease him financially even a bit. Furthermore, I want to ensure that my baby will not be lacking any of his needs. I was overreacted, right? But when I started to adapt myself as a mother, the thought of working has gone and it blew away just like that. I enjoyed my time spent with my baby and I truly missed all the moments with him. What about financial issue? Alhamdulillah, rezeki Allah untuk si kecil sentiasa ada =) I was not that terrified as I believe the rezeki that Allah has planned for us will always be there if we put our faith in Allah.

Endless Love =)

However, when my baby was 5 months old, Allah tested me again. My Darling Hubby got an offer to further a training course for a year at Terengganu. He had to quit his job before the enrollment (no income except for allowance). At this time, I felt hopeless as I did not have any job except for being a full time "Mama". I had no income and no savings at all. I felt a bit frustrated when I could not get any jobs even though I have been to many interviews (some in KL). There were times when I felt like I have to lie during the interviews that I can work outside KL and I can leave my baby with others so that I can secure the job (most of the jobs require me to travel and stay in KL for a period of time). But I could not do that. I do not have the strength to lie especially when it involves my baby. I always remind myself that ANAK itu AMANAH. Amanah yang sangat berharga untuk diabaikan. I was pressured by others who questioned me on my jobless status + having to raise a baby + Darling Hubby is not working. If I could just sealed their mouths, I will definitely do that as others do not know what I have been through. But again, I do not blame anyone as I know that Allah knows what is best for me. I kept quiet and always prayed that Allah will show me the way.

I was jobless until May 2013 (my baby was 9 months old). After almost a year hunting for a suitable job, and after 4 months without a proper income, finally I managed to secure a job with 10 minutes distance from my house. Alhamdulillah, Allah permudahkan urusan kerjaku. Since my baby was already 9 months old, he was ready for solids and that was a relief for me. Why? Coz once my Darling Hubby was away, my baby was emotionally affected and now that I will be working, I was afraid that my baby will be drastically affected as both parents were not with him all the time. 

Baby was down with fever after I started working =(

It was painful to see your baby laid down unhealthily. He was unhappy and not amused with my jokes at all. I felt like quitting my job. But where can I get the money to cover my expenses? I have to sacrifice my job as a full time "Mama" to a working "Mama". At first, I was quite disappointed because I knew that I will not be spending much time with my baby if I start working. But I have to be realistic. Kerja juga salah satu saluran rezeki dan mungkin ini adalah kerja yang sesuai buat masa ini. Thus I stopped complaining and always remind myself to work sincerely for the sake of my family.

Before I slept, I always recalled back on what have I done all this while as a mother. Which of my baby's needs that I failed to fulfill? I take Maslow's Hierarchy as a guideline.

1. Physiological Needs - Apart from frozen EBM (expressed breast milk) and goat's milk, I bought him Cerelac (first solids) + Biscuits + cooked him a simple porridge + blended fruit puree, I also prepared adequate stock of clothes, diapers, toiletries etc.
2. Safety Needs - I put him under my parents' custody (hardly trust nursery) as I feel that he will be secured and protected there.
3. Belongingness and Love Needs - Hmmm..
4. Esteem Needs - If I thought of the word "Hmmm" at the previous stage, how can I proceed with the next stages then?
5. Self-Actualization Need - Not Applicable for my baby at this moment, I guess.

At last, I realize that at this point of time, my baby needs to be properly equipped with the sense of belongingness (love needs) especially from his parents. My baby and I were having a hard time when Darling Hubby was away. I could feel that he missed his Papa's company but he could not tell me in words and he cried instead. Never once that I forgot to hug him at night while he was asleep. I told him that Papa is away as he wants to provide a better living for us. Many things happened along the way that really challenged my patience in taking care of my baby. At times I gave up and I blamed myself for not being strong enough to raise my baby on my own without Darling Hubby with me. I did whine, I was emotionally threatened by the fact that babies without sufficient love from parents will grow up with inappropriate attitude. 

"When parents’ involvement is lacking in a family, the potential of a child to possess aggressive and impulsive behaviour is high (Webster-Stratton, 1997)"

I was clueless when my baby cried for no reasons. I was stressed out as I did not know what to do. I looked for my Darling Hubby's advice and he mentioned that my baby just wanted me to give him more attention. Attention? Yes, attention from a mother is what he needs the most in which the world can't give.

My Attention Seeker! =)

Since that moment, I took some times to read more articles on how to spend my time wisely as a working + contented Mama. A few tips to share:

• Once you got home from work, spend time with your baby for at least 30 minutes (don't bother about house chores but grab your baby's attention first).
• Talk to your baby on his or her routine during the day (don't worry if he or she does not respond but believe me, the baby is listening).
• Take a few minutes to massage him or her (a mother's touch is miracle to a baby's development).
• Try to get your baby to sleep as early as you can so that you can get enough rest as well.
• When your baby is in his or her subconscious mind (before falling into a deep sleep), apologize to him or her for not being with him or her during the day.
• Always recite Ayat Kursi, Surah Al-Fatihah, Surah An-Nas, Surah Al-Falaq, Surah Al-Ikhlas, Surah Al-Kafirun and Surah Al-Inshirah (baca doa tidur juga).
• Pray to Allah for His blessings and always hope for a better tomorrow.

I am not a perfect Mama and I admit that I am not capable of giving everything that a world can give to my baby but the only thing that I can give is my undivided attention towards him.

Love you till Jannah, baby!

The end. Thank you! =)

Let's Recap!

I've been waiting for so long to get the momentum going on in updating my blog. Why?

• Being a student with married status was emotionally challenging in which I had to bear with it for about two months (only). No time for blog writing, just thesis writing. 

• Knowing that I'm pregnant when I was sitting for my final exam was cool especially when "morning sickness" attacked (luckily I did not vomit in the hall). Enjoyed sleeping more than writing. But I did not sleep during the exam.

Hubby + Wifey + Lil Baby (6 months' pregnancy) during my Master's Convocation

• Happily celebrated the joyous moments of my sister's wedding and became more energetic when it came to shopping.

Congrats, dear sister! =)

• Ramadhan month! Fasting month! Yes, I knew it and I've managed to fasting for 3 weeks as my baby was born a week before Syawal (unexpected, I was at 37 weeks of pregnancy).

• Confinement - Nothing that I can do much at this time as I'm fully breastfeeding my baby and I've spent most of my time with him (minimum interaction with other gadgets).

Mama + Papa + Baby MIH

• Job hunting started so I put a lot of effort on finding suitable jobs for me (in need to earn extra money). Went to some interviews and Alhamdulillah, after about a year unemployed, finally I've secured a job near to my house yeayyyy!

A year to update a single entry with lots of excuses?! Why??

Haha! 

Stop being lazy but don't stop respecting your mother.

The end. Thank you! =)

Privacy

I would like to touch on the issue of privacy as I think it is one of the vital parts in one's life. Who doesn't need privacy? Even though we are living with other people in this world, there are things that we can't let others know especially something that we value as personal or sensitive. We need privacy when we feel that everybody is bothering and clinging around us at the wrong time and place. We need privacy when we found that everybody is talking about our personal matters. Other than that, we might also feel that our privacy is intruded if our private stuffs such as personal diary, text messages, or even letters in the PO box are being read by others without us knowing it at the first place. 

It's true that we can have as many friends as we want, we can share as many things as we want and we can go anywhere that we want. Simply said, we can do anything that we want = It's OUR lives. But have we ever thought that we are living on a planet with people around us? It's a simple thought yet it's quite difficult to interpret the meaning behind 'living with others'. When we are alone in this world, we can consider ourselves as having the greater privacy ever. No one will read our personal diary, no one will browse through our phones, no one will read our letters and no one will ever bother about us. But this is not happening in this world where we are living with others. Some of the people out there are not even concern about privacy issue. As for them, nothing is privacy in this world. 

So, what can we do to make sure that we can still have our own little privacy?

There are many reasons for a person to claim that his or her privacy as a serious matter. As for me, I think privacy is something that is controllable. If we think that our personal life is meant to be kept as private:

• We should limit the amount of disclosure that we are going to share with others.

• We also need to know who is the person that we can trust to share those private information so that our private life will not be revealed, exposed or even manipulated by others easily. 

• We need to ensure that the medium of sharing those personal issues is highly trusted for its confidentiality. 

Being selective and secretive gives no harm to those who really want privacy in their lives.

The end. Thank you! =)

Cuka & Garam

Tahukah anda bahawa cuka itu adalah sebaik-baik lauk untuk dinikmati? Menurut Ustaz Hanafiah di dalam tazkirahnya, Allah telah memberikan 4 nilai utama pada cuka iaitu:

1. Cuka ialah sebaik-baik lauk (perencah).
2. Allah meletakkan keberkatan pada cuka di mana cuka itu akan mendatangkan 2 keuntungan bagi manusia di dunia & akhirat.
3. Cuka ialah lauk pauk Nabi & Rasul terdahulu.
4. Tidak akan jatuh miskin bagi rumah yang di dalamnya ada cuka.

" Sesiapa yang menjadikan cuka itu lauk pauk dalam makanannya, Allah akan turunkan Malaikat di kiri dan kanannya bagi mendoakan agar orang itu mendapat keampunan Allah " Imam Baihaki

Jika cuka dikatakan sebagai sebaik-baik lauk, garam pula merupakan penghulu segala lauk. Setiap makanan perlu dicampur sedikit garam. 3 nilai garam yang kita perlu tahu:

1. Garam ialah senjata kepada makanan (pelengkap). Jika makanan itu kurang zatnya, garam digunakan sebagai pelengkap.
2. Garam memberikan kebaikan kepada makanan kerana ia memudahkan penghadaman makanan.
3. Garam boleh dijadikan campuran kepada apa sahaja jenis makanan kerana kadar ph alkali garam adalah di antara 8-14 di mana jika makanan itu boleh mendatangkan kemudaratan, maka garam akan menghilangkan mudaratnya.

Lihatlah betapa tinggi nilai cuka & garam yang tidak kita ketahui. Jadi, lepas ni boleh la letak sedikit cuka dan garam dalam masakan tapi jangan sampai berlebihan. =)

The end. Thank you! =)